Divorce is tough, having to co-parent after divorce can be an even greater test for your spirit. You may despise your ex and hope to never see them again but if you share children then they will always be a part of your life. A shift in your perspective can allow you to embrace co-parenting and work towards creating a successful family dynamic for your children. Below are a few tips to assist in successful co-parenting strategies.
- You cannot change your ex- The only person you can control, and change is yourself. Keep your behavior on the up and up, set positive examples for your kids and focus on what you can control.
- Keep your marriage out of co-parenting- You and your ex are no longer together, do not drag unresolved/unanswered issues from your marriage into your co-parenting relationship. Work with your ex to provide a united front for your children. If needed talk with a therapist to help you sort through lingering issues from your marriage.
- Keep the kids first- As a parent all decisions come down to the needs of the children. Their perspective should always be accounted for and put first.
- Do not fight in front of the children- Never argue in front of the kids, regardless of the situation. Step aside and speak in private if needed.
- Do not speak negatively about your ex in front of the children- Do not try and coerce the kids into picking a side and do not criticize the other parent to your children.
- Document- Instead of arguing with your ex when they show up late to pick up the children, or when they are late with a child support payment keep a record. Documenting issues will help you in the long run to prove your case and resolve issues.
- Choose your battles- Just because you and your ex may parent slightly differently, it does not mean that one is right and the other wrong. As long as the choices being made are not detrimental to your children sometimes its better just to let things go. An ongoing power struggle between you and your ex will only remove focus from what’s important, the kids.
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John Schutz
Partner at John F. Schutz, P.L.
Representing clients exclusively in family law cases for the past 24 years, Mr. Schutz is widely regarded as a marital and family law expert. He is Board Certified in marital and family law by The Florida Bar. As a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML), Mr. Schutz is committed to elevating the standards and improving the practice of family law.
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