“Sleep Divorces” are on the rise. Simply put, a sleep divorce is sleeping in a different bed or bedroom than your spouse in order to get a peaceful night’s rest. Some may argue that a sleep divorce sounds extreme, but a recent survey of 3,000 Americans showed that over 31% of us would prefer to sleep separately.
Quality sleep is essential for your physical and emotional well-being. Ongoing disrupted sleep can put you at risk for developing issues such as cardiovascular illness, diabetes, and obesity. Researchers have also found that lack of sleep can cause you to have negative feelings towards your partner and show lower levels of gratitude leading to a lack of appreciation.
You can love your partner with all your heart but vehemently hate their sleeping habits. Sleeping issues can be caused by a variety of factors, such as different schedules, snoring, night kicking, body heat, and tossing/turning. Sleepless nights will often leave you feeling cranky and sluggish. A negative mood will not only affect your marriage, but all aspects of life.
A sleep divorce could be the remedy to remind you of happier days with your spouse. When broaching the topic of separate sleeping arrangements don’t blame your partners. Instead, mention how you are both impacted by poor sleep. Suggest a trial of run of sleeping apart and see how it goes. If you partner is receptive, be sure to mention how appreciative you are to be working out these issues together. If you do go through with a sleep divorce, make sure that your waking hours spent together are meaningful. Schedule date nights and put away your tech devices for quality time together.
Just because you aren’t sleeping in the same bed at night doesn’t mean the intimacy has to die. You may even find your relationship rejuvenated in that department because both of you are getting the rest you need.
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John Schutz
Partner at John F. Schutz, P.L.
Representing clients exclusively in family law cases for the past 24 years, Mr. Schutz is widely regarded as a marital and family law expert. He is Board Certified in marital and family law by The Florida Bar. As a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML), Mr. Schutz is committed to elevating the standards and improving the practice of family law.
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